Regarding Glaciers and Dice

Its ironic that we live in a world where the one constant is change until we look at our own character. It is there, in the predispositions and outlook on life, we see a glacier-like race toward becoming something different. When we tally the enumerable amount of life experiences: grocery shopping, playing with children, riding to work, eating a meal, and compare them to the moments where a change in our fundamental being takes place, the rarity of change is highlighted.

Think back on the things that actually affected your life, the events that you can say, beyond a shadow of a doubt, placed you at a crossroads where a choice was made that would never have been predicted given your past history. This, however, is not what is most interesting.

What fascinates me is when I gather those events and analyze them, it is difficult to see any real correlation between them. Some moments of change were extremely painful moments in my life - those of great suffering. Others were simple conversations. Yet even just taking those critical conversations there seems to be little they have in common. Some were in moments of stress, others were passing comments. While some involved people that were near and dear to my heart, others were with complete strangers. Some were climactic moments that could have been anticipated, while others took place in the quiet, uneventful peace of home.

Upon reflection I pity the behaviorist who views change to be the result of the correct amount of ingredients placed in the correct situation. Life change, in my personal experience, is rarely planned, and would be impossible for me to duplicate in the life of someone else.

At the same time, those key moments always took place at just the right time. A conversation, a book, a sudden realization - all took place at just the moment with my perspective and context set perfectly to ease me to the edge, so that the insight could be appreciated for its newness and integrated into being. To hang it all on chance is equally absurd, for who believes the future of their very nature belongs to a roll of the dice?