Regarding Stairs

So my little girl is learning to walk.

I think that is actually incorrect, so let me try again.

So my little girl has learned to walk. She just likes holding peoples' hands.

In this process of learning to walk, she has a growing obsession with stairs, fitting into the pattern of her attraction to anything that could kill her. If it has sharp edges, moving parts, that is where she wants to be.

Electrical outlet? Heck yeah.

A dog three times her size? Perfect.

Stairs present a unique fascination for her, holding both a challenge for her newfound ability to walk AND can kill her at the same time. My daughter will blithely walk forward to the edge of the stairs, holding my hand, and fearlessly take a step into the toddler equivalent of the abyss. All done while cooing contentedly. The puzzling thing for me is that it is not what is at the bottom (or top) of the stairs that holds great appeal for her. It is the journey of holding the hand of her father in the face of the new danger. Attractive because its an adventure. Safe because Dada is holding my hand.

Regarding Information

A great irony of our age:

Information is insanely available. One can, after perusing youtube, change the ball-bearings in your car, fix a washing machine, lay tile, and know the appropriate time to harvest broccoli. One can study investment strategies, language, and art from an unprecedented amount of sources without leaving your living room couch.

In defiance of the basic economic laws of supply and demand, this radical development in human history has occurred alongside the tripling (repeat that: tripling) of the cost of a university education.

Regarding Authority

Authority is a crazy thing.

To change anything, you need it. Yet the amount you have directly correlates with the amount of responsibility one must take if those changes have unintended, or unwelcome, consequences.

And so humanity has a bitter sweet relationship with authority, rejoicing at the freedom it gives one to work change while cursing the heightened expectations laid upon their shoulders.

Fortunately for us, we have created a middle ground.

To work change, criticize those in authority, lambasting them with derision until they do what we expect (or until some other poor fool is willing to take their place with the support of our vote).

The result: A convenient buffer.

When plans that we disagree with go badly, we are able to shake our heads as we stand on the sidelines.

"See Bob, I told you that would happen."

When plans that we agree with go badly, there we are, still shaking our heads on the sidelines.

"See Bob, told you that guy/organization/branch of the government couldn't pull it off. They always bungle everything."

Here is the kicker: on the rare occasion that a plan we actually agree with goes well:

"See Bob, that's why I voted for that guy!"

Its a win-win. Democracy rocks.

Regarding Dreams

So recently I had a friend have a huge opportunity open up to him. He was basically handed a fully operating camp at virtually no cost to him.

His response when I asked what he would do: "I'm afraid to do it. I have never done it before."

I have to admit that his answer was refreshingly honest. It still grated me. Grates me still.

Fear, in and of itself, strikes me as a terrible reason to refrain.

Lack of experience is an equally grossly insufficient reason.

From an educators perspective, the reason for this is immediately obvious. Learning cannot take place if the student is unwilling to place themselves to risk. Risk itself is required for learning, be it walking, investing, teaching, driving, or writing. When fear of falling or lack of experience causes one to refrain from the experience, stagnation always results.

Lets take this idea one step farther.

If risk is the necessary starting place for growth, than the size of the dream you currently pursue is the immediate limitation on your own personal potential.

Invest small, reap small. Sow much, reap much.

Failure is inevitable methinks. Its only difference is the form of failure you will encounter: be it stumbling before ones first step, or the failure of a life spent in safety, crawling on all fours for fear of stumbling.

Regarding Justice.

Down Syndrome.

Orphans.

To be in one of these categories is a tragedy. One that deserves compassion, tenderness, and society to reach out with eager provision and love.

To be in both of these categories, to be orphaned, to be abandoned by your parents - because of even suspected Down Syndrome, is a crime.

To be an orphanage, and deny the adoption of that orphan to a family because of that Down Syndrome - out of a desire to protect the nation's reputation, both with its own population and that of surrounding nations, is heinous.

To force this child to remain in the orphanage, un-adoptable, and to tie them to a chair.

No toys.

No play time.

No friends.

No parents.

No love.

No hope.

Please Lord come quickly.

Regarding Landlords

I met a guy last year whose business was real estate. He would travel back and forth between the States and Shenyang selling properties in China. This guy shed some interesting light on landlords, explaining that the vast majority of Chinese people have no trust at all for the stock market, and have even less trust for banks. With the insanely rich getting insanely richer, they are having the difficult dilemma of where to put all of their newfound wealth.

Property.

Now this actually explains quite a bit.

For one, it explains how I'm able to look out my window and count appx. 20 cranes of new high-rises going up outside my apartment window while at the same time apartment buildings less than a year old are at minimum capacity.

It also explains why landlords in China are such jerks. To them, being a landlord is not a position of responsibility. They don't really need the money, and in fact, any rent you actually do pay them is just a bonus. The wealthy are counting on the value of the property only to continue to sky rocket, and so much of the insane amount of construction that is taking place is sheer speculation.

But because properties are owned and rented out by the rich and its income is seen as peripheral, tenants and their complaints about....mold, shoddy construction, ceilings falling apart, even the junk that the owner decided to store in the apartment before move in day, are largely ignored and are seen as petty interruptions.

Argh.

This mindset is grossly apparent to me as I sit in my apartment where my foster child sleeps on the floor because our landlord ignores all pleas to move his monster beds (yes, beds are plural here) out of the one room he can sleep in.

It amazes me that individuals in positions where their livelihood is a result of service to people so often grow callous to the very call to serve that the livelihood stems from. The whole point of their position is written off as a peripheral inconvenience.

But as a teacher, I still hate grading papers.

Hugely inconvenient.

Regarding Sick Daughters

I never got the movie that has the daughter getting hopelessly sick, followed by the father going against all odds to discover the miracle cure, leaving the entire family together, happily ever after. Lifetime movie cliche's are somewhat nauseating to me. The reality is that when the typical father's daughter is hurting with sickness, he is at the mercy of providence and the nearest medical facility.

Or just providence.

Personally, these are the moments in life when I'm struck by my relative helplessness in life. They also tend to be the moments that I work to avoid the most.

Our detestation of being helpless begins early. Already my daughter gives me 'the look' when I put the pacifier in her mouth and don't let her do it alone. I think we want to establish that we are something significant, and on some level independent and self-sufficient.

Honestly our desire to set ourselves up as independent would be a humorous hyperbole if it wasn't so grossly futile a dream. From the cellular level, where all it takes to end a life is one cell decide its not going to stop reproducing, up to the cosmic level of our planet depending on insanely precise mechanisms to hold everything in place just so, any concept of independence is sickeningly arrogant.

Which begs the question:

Why does feeling out of control throw me off balance?

I'd laugh if it wasn't so serious an issue.